75 Godiva Street, Saturday morning

[vdistinctive]

It took Eliot approximately two seconds after he woke up to recognize that something was distinctly not right. He sat up slowly, noting the -- rather drastic, really -- change in his weight distribution, especially across the chest. He didn't remember straining anything working out, yesterday, or anything else that would account for any of this. And anyway, it didn't hurt. His whole body just felt . . . weird.

Which for a guy who spent his life insanely aware of his body and how it was functioning was just a little bit disconcerting.

He finally got around to opening his eyes and looking down about ten seconds after he woke up. The growled out "Dammit, Fandom," was rather higher pitched than normal, but no less deeply irritated.

Sometimes he really did hate this island.

[ooc: for those who'd be in the bed with him.]

Comments

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"No I can't tell just by--" He stopped, narrowing his eyes. "...Does that line actually work on women?"

HE DID NOT BELIEVE YOU, ELIOT.

[vdistinctive]

Eliot laughed. "Depends on the woman." He patted Hardison on the head and stood up again. "32C. You're not going to be able to borrow any of Parker's bras, either."

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"Not unless you're Eliot." Parker smiled at him and booped his nose. "You're so cute! And tinier than me!"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"I'm--how the hell did I get to be the tiniest person in the damn room?" Hardison demanded. "Is this some kinda short people revenge thing?"

Yes, he was holding his breasts in his hands and trying to judge their size for himself. Shut up.

[vdistinctive]

"This place does love its irony," Eliot said. He sorted through his first aid kit until he found his widest ace bandage, and started trying to wrap his chest.

What the hell. He could do this with broken ribs, but he couldn't hold on to his own damn breast tissue and wrap at the same time.

"None of our pants are going to fit you, either."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"You know bindin' yourself that way can really mess you up if you do it wrong," Hardison noted, finally getting out of bed and ambling over to his drawer. It was mostly empty, but there were a few pairs of boxers and tank tops in there, as well as a few jeans. "Probably better off just goin' girl-commando until you can get somethin' better."

The boxers worked fairly well. Hardison was normally very lean, so his new hips gave the elastic something to cling to. His jeans were laughable, however, sliding down before he could even try to zip them up. "Seriously?" he asked, eyes sent heavenward. "Babe, you gotta belt I could borrow?"

Parker, Eliot, he didn't care who answered, so long as they said yes.

[vdistinctive]

"I can't run if they're gonna be floppin' around all over the place," Eliot grumbled, still attempting to get a good angle with the bandage. Then he gave up and sighed. "Of course, my boots ain't gonna fit right for runnin', either."

Sorry, Hardison, he'd get around to the belt issue in a little bit. When he noticed his own jeans creeping down around his hips again.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Let's hope that nothin' requires us to run this weekend," Hardison said, hitching up his pants for what would likely be the first of many, many times. "Cause I'mma get maybe ten feet before I fall over like this."

[vdistinctive]

"I told you they weren't going to fit." Yes, Eliot, you were very helpful that way. ". . . You'd have to poke an extra hole in any of my belts."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Good to know Hardison's Seriously? expression remained the same, even while female. "Was I just supposed to walk around nekkid, then?"

[vdistinctive]

Eliot gave Hardison a slow, lingering up and down. "Can't say I'd complain."

Classy, Eliot.

He looked down at this own chest for the umpteenth time this morning and sighed. "I guess we could get Parker to go get us clothes."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

If the Seriously? expression was the same, the giggling was new. He clapped a hand over his mouth, somewhat horrified, but still pleased by the compliment. He was a hot girl! Everyone wanted to be the hot girl.

"Baaaaaaaabe," he said, swinging around to give Parker a pair of big eyes. "Could you please go get us clothes so that we're only walkin' around nekkid cause we wanna, not cause we have to?"

[vdistinctive]

"Normal clothes," Eliot specified. "No tryin' to dress us up like Sophie or somethin'."

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

Parker had to pat Hardison on his head. Because SO CUTE. Ahahahah!

"I wouldn't do that to you guys. I don't let her do it to me, so." She snapped her fingers. "Tape measure! I can get you a bra just in case you do wanna wear one." She tilted her head. "And maybe some chocolate. You guys might understand it better now."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"I have my own reasons why you like chocolate so much," Hardison drawled, giving Parker a salacious grin. "But, no, ain't got no sudden cravings."

Thank god. Hardison wasn't sure if he could handle being a girl at that time.

[vdistinctive]

Eliot absolutely couldn't. He was having enough trouble right now with body dismorphia, thanks.

"34C," he said, hands on his breasts. To measure them. And a little bit to stop them from just hanging there. (And maybe just a tiny bit because how often would he get a chance to feel himself up?) ". . . I guess a sports bra would be okay."

He could probably use some damn chocolate.

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"How can you be sure?" Parker wondered, poking Eliot in the side. "Can you do that for Hardison?"

What, it would help! So helpful!

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"He said I'm a 32C," Hardison said, still shooting dubious looks Eliot's way.

...And also slightly appreciative looks, because, hello, hot-chick-who-was-also-Eliot-fondling-breasts.

"But he's sayin' he's a C an' I'm a C an' I'm looking at our chests--" avidly, shh "--an' I'm not sure I believe him."

Guess who had no idea how band size affected cup size!

[vdistinctive]

"Cup sizes are determined relative to band size," Eliot said. And then, because that sort of statement usually got followed by a weird look from his team, added: "I used to date a bra fitting specialist." He smiled. "And several underwear models."

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"Of course you did," Parker sighed, and rolled her eyes only a little bit. "...and he's right." She grinned. "It's distinctive."

Parker herself was about a 32B, but hey, nobody asked her size, so.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

No, but Hardison was laughing at her joke. And thought her size was just perfect anyway. Who needed to know what it was when the answer was 'awesome'?

"Well, gimme a sec an' I can tell you my new waist an' inseam measurements," Hardison said, looking for that tape measure. "That should let you buy me some pants."

Ha. Ahahaha. Oh you silly thing.

[vdistinctive]

To be fair, Eliot already knew what Parker's bra size was. He'd had plenty of time now to study her breasts.

"You know your hips and waist are two different sizes now, right?" Eliot pointed out. "You might be better off goin' with a skirt."

Skirts were easier to fit. He definitely wasn't just hoping to see Hardison in a skirt, this weekend.

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

Parker was grinning a them both now. "I can get you both."

Or possibly leather mini-skirts, let's see you guys try to negotiate that, since you never had to be the bait in one of those outfits. HA.

"But I'll just get your flip-flops for shoes until you can get into the store, even guessing a size won't help there, so."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"...Why is she wearing her evil grin?" Hardison asked Eliot in an undertone. A high-pitched undertone. "Eliot, she's wearing her evil grin. Make her stop."

[vdistinctive]

"Parker," Eliot said suspiciously. "We agreed on normal clothes."