75 Godiva Street, Saturday morning

[vdistinctive]

It took Eliot approximately two seconds after he woke up to recognize that something was distinctly not right. He sat up slowly, noting the -- rather drastic, really -- change in his weight distribution, especially across the chest. He didn't remember straining anything working out, yesterday, or anything else that would account for any of this. And anyway, it didn't hurt. His whole body just felt . . . weird.

Which for a guy who spent his life insanely aware of his body and how it was functioning was just a little bit disconcerting.

He finally got around to opening his eyes and looking down about ten seconds after he woke up. The growled out "Dammit, Fandom," was rather higher pitched than normal, but no less deeply irritated.

Sometimes he really did hate this island.

[ooc: for those who'd be in the bed with him.]

Comments

[vdistinctive]

"I can't run if they're gonna be floppin' around all over the place," Eliot grumbled, still attempting to get a good angle with the bandage. Then he gave up and sighed. "Of course, my boots ain't gonna fit right for runnin', either."

Sorry, Hardison, he'd get around to the belt issue in a little bit. When he noticed his own jeans creeping down around his hips again.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Let's hope that nothin' requires us to run this weekend," Hardison said, hitching up his pants for what would likely be the first of many, many times. "Cause I'mma get maybe ten feet before I fall over like this."

[vdistinctive]

"I told you they weren't going to fit." Yes, Eliot, you were very helpful that way. ". . . You'd have to poke an extra hole in any of my belts."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Good to know Hardison's Seriously? expression remained the same, even while female. "Was I just supposed to walk around nekkid, then?"

[vdistinctive]

Eliot gave Hardison a slow, lingering up and down. "Can't say I'd complain."

Classy, Eliot.

He looked down at this own chest for the umpteenth time this morning and sighed. "I guess we could get Parker to go get us clothes."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

If the Seriously? expression was the same, the giggling was new. He clapped a hand over his mouth, somewhat horrified, but still pleased by the compliment. He was a hot girl! Everyone wanted to be the hot girl.

"Baaaaaaaabe," he said, swinging around to give Parker a pair of big eyes. "Could you please go get us clothes so that we're only walkin' around nekkid cause we wanna, not cause we have to?"

[vdistinctive]

"Normal clothes," Eliot specified. "No tryin' to dress us up like Sophie or somethin'."

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

Parker had to pat Hardison on his head. Because SO CUTE. Ahahahah!

"I wouldn't do that to you guys. I don't let her do it to me, so." She snapped her fingers. "Tape measure! I can get you a bra just in case you do wanna wear one." She tilted her head. "And maybe some chocolate. You guys might understand it better now."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"I have my own reasons why you like chocolate so much," Hardison drawled, giving Parker a salacious grin. "But, no, ain't got no sudden cravings."

Thank god. Hardison wasn't sure if he could handle being a girl at that time.

[vdistinctive]

Eliot absolutely couldn't. He was having enough trouble right now with body dismorphia, thanks.

"34C," he said, hands on his breasts. To measure them. And a little bit to stop them from just hanging there. (And maybe just a tiny bit because how often would he get a chance to feel himself up?) ". . . I guess a sports bra would be okay."

He could probably use some damn chocolate.

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"How can you be sure?" Parker wondered, poking Eliot in the side. "Can you do that for Hardison?"

What, it would help! So helpful!

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"He said I'm a 32C," Hardison said, still shooting dubious looks Eliot's way.

...And also slightly appreciative looks, because, hello, hot-chick-who-was-also-Eliot-fondling-breasts.

"But he's sayin' he's a C an' I'm a C an' I'm looking at our chests--" avidly, shh "--an' I'm not sure I believe him."

Guess who had no idea how band size affected cup size!

[vdistinctive]

"Cup sizes are determined relative to band size," Eliot said. And then, because that sort of statement usually got followed by a weird look from his team, added: "I used to date a bra fitting specialist." He smiled. "And several underwear models."

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"Of course you did," Parker sighed, and rolled her eyes only a little bit. "...and he's right." She grinned. "It's distinctive."

Parker herself was about a 32B, but hey, nobody asked her size, so.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

No, but Hardison was laughing at her joke. And thought her size was just perfect anyway. Who needed to know what it was when the answer was 'awesome'?

"Well, gimme a sec an' I can tell you my new waist an' inseam measurements," Hardison said, looking for that tape measure. "That should let you buy me some pants."

Ha. Ahahaha. Oh you silly thing.

[vdistinctive]

To be fair, Eliot already knew what Parker's bra size was. He'd had plenty of time now to study her breasts.

"You know your hips and waist are two different sizes now, right?" Eliot pointed out. "You might be better off goin' with a skirt."

Skirts were easier to fit. He definitely wasn't just hoping to see Hardison in a skirt, this weekend.

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

Parker was grinning a them both now. "I can get you both."

Or possibly leather mini-skirts, let's see you guys try to negotiate that, since you never had to be the bait in one of those outfits. HA.

"But I'll just get your flip-flops for shoes until you can get into the store, even guessing a size won't help there, so."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"...Why is she wearing her evil grin?" Hardison asked Eliot in an undertone. A high-pitched undertone. "Eliot, she's wearing her evil grin. Make her stop."

[vdistinctive]

"Parker," Eliot said suspiciously. "We agreed on normal clothes."

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

Parker was getting dressed now, and she placed an absent-minded kiss on Eliot's cheek and then a softer one on Hardison's mouth.

"I will get you normal clothes! For girls. I swear. Normal girl clothes."

...eheahahheheheehahahah....

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"You know, I just remembered these are my favorite pants," Hardison said, hitching them up yet again. "I'm sure I'll be okay this wee--whoa!"

He'd tried to take a step forward and managed to get tangled in the foot's worth of extra length his pants had on him now. Did you know, it was very difficult to catch your balance when your center of gravity was in a different place than it used to be?

"...Ow."

[vdistinctive]

"Alright, tiny," Eliot said, offering him a hand up. "You can borrow one of my shirts while Parker goes shopping."

Hardison's own shirts would cover more. But they'd have less of the "she's wearing my shirt like a dress" sex appeal for Eliot, specifically.

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

Snickering, Parker headed for the door. Then she turned around and said, "If you make out, you need to take pictures! Or just wait 'til I get back, okay?"

She'd be back in a bit. With clothes and ice cream and booze and chocolate. And flip-flops.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

The booze would be so appreciated. So, so appreciated. The chocolate, too, but mostly the booze.

Hardison accepted Eliot's hand, giving them both a giant grin. That also had not changed, happily. "Our girl has the best ideas. You know that, right?"

Making out, taking pictures, involving Parker...seriously. Not one of those was a bad plan.

"I love bein' with a mastermind."

[vdistinctive]

"Mmm," Eliot said. "I'm withholdin' final judgement till I see what she qualifies as 'normal clothes'."

The rest of it was an excellent idea, though.

He reached over to pull Hardison in and kiss him on the top of his head -- the better to lord his tallness over him -- and smiled. "You have hair to play with, now."