In a fishing boat off the coast of Key West, Sunday afternoon

[vdistinctive]

Like Eliot was going to work a job in Key West without dragging his team out for some fishing? Sure. Right. It wasn't like Hardison could fuss about racist militias on the OPEN OCEAN, after all.

. . . He was waiting for the argument about pirates. Or maybe mosquitos. Or sharks. Whatever, they had a cooler full of beer, a boat to themselves, and an extremely low probability of running into any magic monsters this far from Fandom. Eliot was going to call it a win.

[ooc: for Leveragians and likely slow play.]

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[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Y'all know this area's known for heavy shark activity, right?"

It was sharks. Of course it was sharks. The breeze was nice enough to keep the mosquitoes off. If they stayed out long enough, he'd shift to sunburn, just to keep things fresh.

"You're gonna try to catch some stupid fish that we could just go an' buy if you really wanted to eat one," he continued. "An' it's gonna get all cut up on somethin' an bleed in the water an' then you'll see." Probably megalodon-sized great white shark. That was what he was firmly keeping an eye out in the water for. Any long, dark shadow in the water beneath them was going to be assumed to be a murder!shark with a taste for handsome computer geniuses, fyi.

[vdistinctive]

"Ya don't go to a store and buy a marlin, Hardison." Well, you could, but it was definitely cheating. "You conquer it. And get it stuffed and hang it on the wall."

Or, you know, catch-and-release. But that wouldn't horrify Hardison properly.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

What was wrong with cheating?! That was what they did! That was who they were! As people!

"No. Uh-uh. Hellllllllllll naw. We ain't hangin' dead fish up on any walls. What? We some kinda group of barbarians now? 'Hey errybody, look at this thing we murdered!' Who does that? Old white British dudes is who. An we steal from people like that!"

[vdistinctive]

Eliot rolled his eyes and sighed, as though he weren't already planning on not hanging a marlin on his wall. "Fine. If you're gonna get a complex about it, we'll let it go when we're done."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Oh, so we're just gonna dig a metal hook into it's face, drag it in, hoist it up in the air to suffocate an' then let it go when we're done with it?" Hardison asked.

Fishing was legitimately the worst sport. At least, that Hardison could think of right now.

"After we're done here, can we go break a deer's leg an' then set it free?"

[vdistinctive]

"You got any idea what the odds of even catching a marlin is? It's about the challenge, man! Pittin' yourself against the natural world!"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"I don't need to challenge the natural world!" Hardison protested. "It wins! I concede! I'm a delicate creature! I accept that!"

Which didn't explain why he'd flung himself at the tentacle beast with a damn spear, but he wasn't pointing that out.

"I don't need to Old Man and the Sea myself to prove that Mother Nature's better'n me!"

[vdistinctive]

"You ran in after a tentacle monster with a spear." Eliot was absolutely going to be pointing that out. Forever and always. It had been absolutely amazing and had made Eliot fall just a little bit more in love with Hardison.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Dammit, Eliot! Well...maybe you could keep talking a little. About the love thing, anyway. BUT NOT THE SPEAR-THING, IT UNDERMINED ALL HIS BEST POINTS.

"I ran in to make sure you didn't get your fool ass killed," Hardison grumbled, deliberately not making eye-contact with Eliot. "An' I'd been plannin' to use you as a shield an' poke it when its guard was down."

It might not have happened that way...exactly. For reasons. Like 'Hardison was braver than he let on, especially when idiots he loved her in trouble' kind of reasons.

Shut uo.

[vdistinctive]

Eliot rolled his eyes good-naturedly at that. "You weren't plannin' a damn thing. You saw a threat and you reacted. And it was damn cool."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Cool?" No, Eliot, don't look at him and his dopey smile! Or how pleased he was by the compliment. "...I guess. Maybe. A little."

"...You seriously thought it was cool?"

SENPAI NOTICED HIM!

[vdistinctive]

Eliot dutifully pretended not to notice the adorable dopey smile. "Well, you know, it coulda used a little less shrieking like a startled child, but other'n that. . . ."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"M--man, I flung myself into danger for you!" How quickly we changed our story, Hardison! "You're damned lucky my drawers were still clean and be grateful all I did was shriek like a startled kid."

And speaking of dopey smiles... "Bet Joey, Ada, an' Spike woulda loved to fight that thing."

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"Are you in internet withdrawal already?"

Look, she knew the signs by now.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"I can't even get a decent signal on my phone!" Hardison burst out. "I programmed this thing to bounce signals off the damn moon an' yet nothin! All this salty air and random splashin's probably gotten all inside the casin'...It's not like I can just bring this back under warranty, y'know!"

...He could go on like this for awhile, Parker. Eliot had already been riling him up.

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

Parker put her arms around him in a hug, and said, "Oh, nooooo," in his ear.

That might have been a suggestive 'oh no' there. Or just an amused one.

"It's Eliot's turn to pick stuff."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"I was promised skinny-dippin'," Hardison sulked. "An' Eliot should lose a turn, cause he made me go stab a tentacle monster."

Yup. 'Made him.' That was exactly what had happened there.

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"Without me," Parker sulked in his ear. Then nipped at it. "You didn't even text me to say you were fighting tentacles."

Pout.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Well that got a shudder and a pleased grin out of Hardison, his arm stealing around Parker's waist. "Wasn't really time, babe. Once minute, I'm bitchin' about the staff, the next minute Eliot's demandin' a butcher knife like that was supposed to be worth a damn an plannin' on Ramboin' into the freezer."

He lifted her hand and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. "Next time, I promise. No fightin' tentacle beasts unless you're there with your taser."

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"Good." Parker rested her pointy chin on Hardison's shoulder, smiling and then twining her fingers with his. "He promised skinny dipping after. And I think he'll go with us to one of your conventions sometime." Trade-offs. Sharing. "I don't get the fish thing, really."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Me neither, babe, but if it makes him happy..." He shrugged--and then grinned. "Does this mean we get to dress you up like a sexy android? And we can make him run around like some fantasy warrior. All leather an' loincloths."

No space-pirates for you, Eliot.

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"OOoooooooooooo." Okay, that was an even better plan. "If we give him a big enough sword, or one of those axes, he might go for it. And you'd be-- Mister What? Captain Tommy Laredo?"

See! She remembered this stuff!

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"I could be Captain Laredo. Or...hmmm." Hardison had to think about it. "Maybe that captain from Lightning Bug." Not the preacher, no. Or the gun fighter whose actor turned out to be an asshole. "Or the one from the Aluminum Falcon! We can make Eliot be the furry companion."

He grinned at her. "You gonna see the new movie with me, babe?"

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"Yes." Her eyes narrowed. "But there better be a better female role in this other than one like the chick who died in the last set that doesn't exist and never will except when I'm explaining to you how it doesn't."

Hope you followed that, Hardison.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Of course he followed that! He was a proud and noble geek, he knew all about denying the existence of crappy movies that ruined otherwise perfectly good franchises!

"What, I ain't shown you the trailer yet?" he asked. "There's one chick we see already, runnin' around dodgin' blaster fire. Hold on. I know my phone's slower'n molasses runnin' uphill out here in our soon-to-be watery graves, but I know I got the trailer saved..."

He fiddled with his phone for a few seconds until the bright green Approved For All Audiences sign showed up, along with the swelling of the familiar orchestral music. "Check this out, mama."