In a fishing boat off the coast of Key West, Sunday afternoon

[vdistinctive]

Like Eliot was going to work a job in Key West without dragging his team out for some fishing? Sure. Right. It wasn't like Hardison could fuss about racist militias on the OPEN OCEAN, after all.

. . . He was waiting for the argument about pirates. Or maybe mosquitos. Or sharks. Whatever, they had a cooler full of beer, a boat to themselves, and an extremely low probability of running into any magic monsters this far from Fandom. Eliot was going to call it a win.

[ooc: for Leveragians and likely slow play.]

Comments

[vdistinctive]

"Dunno," Eliot said. "Wanna try for a barracuda?"

He knew the answer to that question. But he wanted to see if he could get Hardison's eyes to bug out again.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"THOSE THINGS HAVE SERRATED JAWS ELIOT, WE AIN'T WRESTLING ONE ON THIS BOAT, YOU OUTTA YOUR MIND?!"

You were a very mean man, Eliot.

[vdistinctive]

He used to kill people, Hardison. "Mean" was kind of a given.

"Alright, fine, we'll find a nice mangrove island and park it for awhile." You know, a lagoon. "Maybe we'll catch a tarpon on the way. They only get to be eight feet long."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Hardison only knew what mangroves were because he played video games. Tarpons...who even knew? For all he knew, it was something Eliot had just made up to mess with him.

"You bring anything along besides beer in that cooler?" he asked. "Or were you plannin' on catching us lunch an' cookin' it over an open fire, roasted in mud and leaves or somethin'?"

...Don't tell him that was a legit way to roast fish, Eliot. He'd be heart-broken to realize his sass had misfired.

[vdistinctive]

"Why the hell would you roast a fish in mud?" Leaves on the other hand. . . . "I brought some sandwiches. You'd refuse to eat fish ever again if you ever saw me actually prep one."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"What kiiiiind of sandwiches?"

IGNORE THE GRIN ELIOT, IT MEANT NOTHING.

[vdistinctive]

Eliot smirked. "The kind you think I don't notice you stealin' from the fridge all the time."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Man, you--I can't--there's no--Trust, Eliot! It's all about trust! An' respect! An'--you still usin' those cameras you installed?"

No reason, just checking!

[vdistinctive]

"Nope," Eliot said. "You don't think I can figure out where the sandwiches go when they go missing from the fridge?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Could be anybody."

Admittedly, that went over better back when there was Nate and his drinking as a potential suspect.

"The busboy's pretty shifty, you know."

[vdistinctive]

Eliot laughed. "That busboy is terrified of me." Admittedly, this was because Eliot had punched him in the face not that long ago.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Maybe you could stop treatin' tentacle monsters as a sport then?"

It couldn't hurt? Especially since Eliot wasn't going to be hitting anyone in the near future.

Well, not any allies, anyway.

[vdistinctive]

He had to hit someone. He got all antsy and out of sorts when he didn't get to hit anyone. "Hey, that was about protectin' my diner."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

They lived on Fandom now. Someone in dire need of hitting would almost certainly appear before the month was out.

"An' the boyish grin an' sense of glee? That was also about protectin' the diner?"

[vdistinctive]

"There's nothin' wrong with enjoyin' your job." Eliot scowled. "And I ain't 'boyish'."

Oh sweetie.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Says the man who practically giggled his way into the freezer," Hardison said, spotting a way to get some of his own back after an afternoon of harassment. "You were damn near giddy."

[vdistinctive]

Eliot stared at him, appalled. "I definitely don't giggle."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"...Fine. Your high-pitched-and-yet-somehow-terribly-manly chuckle."

Was that better?

[vdistinctive]

Eliot rolled his eyes. "What the hell do you know? You're the one who goes around shriekin' at everything."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Thus makin' me an authority on noises primarily made by teenage girls?"

Hardison was willing to take one on the chin if he got to swing at Eliot, too. And both hits were COMPLETELY METAPHORICAL.

[vdistinctive]

"Thus makin' you an idiot." Eliot wasn't pouting. Don't be stupid. He didn't pout. He pointed out over the wheel at one of the many unpopulated little mangrove islands along the coastline. "Here, how's that island look?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"An' still right about you gigglin'," Hardison muttered under his breath, though loud enough for his lovers to hear anyway. "That island looks...very islandy, yes. Definitely mangroved. Excellent spot for gettin' nekkid an'...goin' swimmin'. Yes, that."

[vdistinctive]

"Swimming," Eliot confirmed. "You ever actually had sex on a beach? The sand gets in some nasty places."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"It's like you exist to kill joy, man," Hardison complained. "We spend the day peacefully lettin' you fish an' in return you just have to go an ruin a perfectly good tropical island fantasy."

[vdistinctive]

"The last time I let you try out one of your idle outdoor fantasies you got pneumonia."