Voicemail

[vdistinctive]

"You've reached Eliot. If this is Parker: no, cereal doesn't count as dinner. If it's Hardison: no, I haven't read your email, yet. Nate and Sophie: if you schedule the damned wedding already, I'll attend.

Anyone else, leave a message, and I'll get back to you."

*beep*

Comments

Very Late Monday Night

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy knew it was very, super late on the East Coast, but she was running out of options. She certainly hadn't gone home expecting to handle a gunshot wound by herself!

"Hello? Mr. Spencer? It's me, Kathy Li, from class! Please pick up, it's an emergency!"

Re: Very Late Monday Night

[vdistinctive]

Fortunately for Kathy, Eliot didn't sleep much. He was still wide awake to take her call.

"Kathy? What's goin' on, darklin'?"

[ooc: with continuation within the thread]

April Fool Phones 2015

[talentforlying]

[From here.]

Look, no one called John. EVER. The island was so small as to not really need phones, and no one from London would call him unless he was the last option on the planet.

Still, he wasn't going to ignore a call from what sounded to be a reasonably attractive young woman. That'd be rude, innit?

"Listen, sunshine, I got plenty of stuff some might call 'military grade,' but I don't think that's what you're after. Give me a few more specifics on what you want these 'weapons' for, and I might be able to offer you something better."

Re: April Fool Phones 2015

[vdistinctive]

To here

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

[From here]

"Look dude, if you got fucking manboobs stop being in denial and get a fucking exercise regimen going. Why you're telling me this shit I have no fucking clue."

[vdistinctive]

Went here!

Crazy Phones

[glacial_queen]

[from here]

Last night had been a brutal night in the Battle of Teething, so Karla could be forgiven for not being completely awake at the beginning of the message. All she really heard was the offer to bring over bear claws.

"Mother Night, yes," she groaned. "Get me some and I'll have your baby. Or better yet, just give you mine."

Re: Crazy Phones

[vdistinctive]

To here and here

[hexentotchen.livejournal.com]

[from here!]

A very tentative voice was responding on the voicemail: "I haven't been working anywhere with fumes. And-- I'm sorry you're not getting married? But what do triplets have to do with it?"

[vdistinctive]

IT'S HERE, YOU KNOW IT

[spin_kick_snap]

[From here]

"Are you for real? Like, I'm legitimately curious--do you honestly think I'm spending my nights trying to figure out how to seduce you? Trust me, you're not at the top of my priority list, either!"

[vdistinctive]

Eliot listened to the message, then stared at his phone. Then listened to the message again.

"No."

Then he stormed off to go find Hardison to fix his damn phone.

[stacyexperiment]

[From here]

"Hey, everyone should want to see me naked. I look great."

[heromaniac]

Momoko decided that having to leave a message for Jono after the one he'd left for her was NOT going to make her feel better, so she decided to call Karla to see if she knew anything...

"Hey. Jono just called me that he had lost some limbs?!? Do you know anything about this? Please tell me he's just a snake again or something!"

April Fool Phone

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

"The Angels have the Phonebox."

Yes, Kenzi had figured out part of what was going on now.

"Call me!"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

[From here]

Finally. A message that he understood, even if he didn't understand why Sparkle was sending it. "A'ight, a'ight, hold on. First off, you really think the Mister's gonna let the angels take the time box? You out ya damn mind. But, hell, even if he did, the DeLorean ain't the only time-traveling device in play. Ignore the DeLorean. Go back to the original classic and get the original time machine."

[vdistinctive]

To here

[filleauloup]

[[From here!]]

"Angels? I'm not the one you want to ask questions like that, good god. I've got all sorts of ideas for what I could do with a box like that, though."

There was a long pause.

"See if you ever find out."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Staying at the library. Got chased by rampaging techno-zombies that can RUN. Screw that, man. I am not even playing with that nonsense. Staying to research, be home when things are less likely to murder me.

[vdistinctive]

Thanks. Stay safe & keep checking in. Karla & I holding down the diner. Stay overnight if you need to. Night might just end up being weirder.

[sith_happened]

[OOC: From here!]

"I'll bring it over, but I'm gonna ask: why do you need this much liver? It tastes like poodoo."

[vdistinctive]

[that goes right here!]

[myfaireggsy.livejournal.com]

[oh god why]

"Ain't nothin' wrong with wanting a little obscenity, bruv. Don't worry that your refractory time ain't up to snuff. I'm sure you can make up for that in other ways."

EGGSY NO.

[vdistinctive]

[goes to here!]

Crazy Phones!

[living_endless]

[OOC: From here]

Didi suspected something was wrong when she got the message, but she went with it anyhow:

"I'm not usually into violence, but hey, if somebody really needs a good nads-kicking and it makes you that happy, go for it. You have my blessing."

Re: Crazy Phones!

[vdistinctive]

[to here!]

Wacky Phone Day!

[filleauloup]

[[From here]]

"All right, all right, calm down! There's no need to shout, good lord. And how d'you know it's not meant for me, anyhow? You don't know the kinds of things people have shouted at me before."

Trying to spin that into something flattering-sounding? Yeah, there was definitely still some of her father's influence there.

Re: Wacky Phone Day!

[vdistinctive]

[To here]

[rhymeswithtable.livejournal.com]

"... Wait, you didn't actually lose your pants, did you? Because I totally didn't see them, but I'll let you know if I do!"

Mabel was pointedly choosing to mishear her voicemails at this point, because there were a lot of people she barely knew, talking to her about getting naked, otherwise.

[From here!]

[vdistinctive]

[goes here]

A Totally Comforting Text From The Boyfriend

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Gone to Ohio to con Nazis! BBL! Love you!

And later, when he got home, there was a note pinned to the door that said, Gone Connin'

Re: A Totally Comforting Text From The Boyfriend

[vdistinctive]

dammit hardison

Yeah. That text was precisely what Eliot deserved, karmically.

He didn't care.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

That afternoon, Eliot would get a phone call in the diner.

"Hey," the busboy whispered into the phone. "Your boyfriend is comforting his TA because Kathy kicked her out because they fought over Kathy's pregnancy."

"That explains why she hasn't been eating," the cook said in the background. "And that time she threw up halfway through her ham sandwich."

"Thought you should know."

[vdistinctive]

Eliot stared at his phone. It wasn't an angry stare. It wasn't a confused stare. It was pure shellshock. Then he pulled out his phone and made a phone call of his own.

It wasn't like his staff was the most reliable source he knew of, but still. You didn't hear a rumor like that and not try to chase it down, right?

[spin_kick_snap]

After some of the confusion and clinging had worn down some, Kathy pulled out her phone. She knew that the crew wasn't on the island this week, but she figured someone might have called Eliot to let him know what was going on. And if that were the case, she needed to make sure that he knew she was back to normal.

Hey, Eliot. Dunno if/what you heard, but wanted to let you know I'm awake now. No lasting damage. Uhh, if you didn't know, island is being stupid again, I went comatose for a little while, we have it all under control. I'M FINE, NO REASON TO WORRY, OK?

[vdistinctive]

glad to hear you're ok now. tell me more about it later?

That was the best Eliot managed to get out between bouts of throwing things in his office at the diner, yeah.

Crazy Phones!

[myownface]

[OOC: From here!]

"Ooookay, so now I guess I'm not coming home from work today. Don't know what crawled up your ass and died, but I think maybe I'm gonna take a pass on that one, man."

Crazy phone day!

[sharp_man]

From here!

"Doctor Lecter here. What reason would your boss have for you to babysit me? For that matter, who is your boss?"

PHONES. THEY CRAZY.

[died8yearsago]

Rosa didn't know what the hell was up with all the weird voicemails she'd been getting from very attractive sounding women, but she certainly didn't seem to mind, especially after the latest one.

"Whatever you just proposed," she said when she thought she'd called back the unfamiliar number, "sounds borderline illegal. ...I'm in. I'm thinking...knifes. Daggers. Maybe some ninja stars. And an axe. And I dig the whole vague mystery thing, but I'm gonna need some details. A place, a time. Call me back."

You mysterious violent sexy stranger, you.

Re: PHONES. THEY CRAZY.

[vdistinctive]

[That goes to here!]

Wacky Phones 2018

[heroic_jawline]

Steve was texting back, but it got a little lost, kind of like the first message:

Are you having a stroke? Do you need medical assistance?