Office hours, Wednesday

[vdistinctive]

So the whole "teaching" thing was definitely shaping up not to be a one-off sort of venture, so Eliot figured he should probably start making an effort to do it properly.

Which apparently meant sitting around an office once a week and waiting to see if anyone needed to talk to him.

It went pretty well at first, with Val napping in one of the spare chairs while Eliot enjoyed his coffee and read a bit. By the time lunch rolled around, though, he had a picture of Sterling printed out and hung on the wall as a darts target.

[ooc: OH HEY OFFICE HOURS. Open!]

Comments

[geniuswithasmartphone]

And Hardison wasn't going to mention that he had one. Locked up and kept safe under several coils of wires and cables where no one would think to look.

"Sorry we can't all punch our way through our problems, man," Hardison drawled. "But if you don't want me usin' a gun, why should I learn to shoot one?"

[vdistinctive]

That was wise. Having one was bad enough. Having it and not knowing how to use it? Eliot'd tear him a new one. "'Cause sometimes you pick one up after a bad guy drops it. And I'd rather you not literally shoot yourself in the foot."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

And avoiding that was exactly why it was in a fireproof lockbox behind several electronic locks, in a cardboard box labeled 'tech stuff' in sharpie. That was the closest Hardison could get to having an anti-Eliot spell around something.

Granted, Hardison would also be happier if he never, ever needed to see that gun again, because he knew just how dangerous it was. Still, he believed in insurance, which is what it was. An ugly, dangerous form of insurance that he was happy to pretend didn't exist.

"Man, like I'd get a chance to even try 'fore you snatched it outta my hands and popped the clip," Hardison said. "An' somehow I don't think throwin' darts is gonna help me much if I ever did have to use one."

[vdistinctive]

"Throwing rocks would help with your aim," Eliot said. "Anything would be an improvement."

Hardison's aim was atrocious.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

But his terrible aim had helped! It had been super-useful!

"So you're sayin' we should play the original Duck Hunt together, that's what I'm hearin'."

[vdistinctive]

". . . No. That's not what I'm sayin'."

Even Eliot had played old school Nintendo when he was a kid.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"It'd help me aim," Hardison pointed out. "That's just exactly what you said. I need to learn to aim an' anything would be an improvement. Ain't that what you just said?"

[vdistinctive]

"Aim actual physical things in the real world. Gettin' an approximate 'okay' from a bunch of sensors ain't the same thing."

Nice try, Hardison. Eliot would make you play catch with him, yet.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Suuuuuuuure he would. Suuuuuure.

"But it's a good first step, ain't it?" Hardison insisted. "Otherwise, I'm just throwin' things around randomly while you bitch in the background."

[vdistinctive]

"I ain't dignifyin' that with a response." Eliot knows you're smarter than that, Hardison.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

You'd like to think that, wouldn't you.

"I'm sorry, I'm mean grunt out insults when I'm tryna concentrate."

[vdistinctive]

"You gonna keep harassin' me in my own office, I might have to start using you for target practice." Eliot crumbled a sheet of paper and tossed it unerringly at Hardison's head.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

You were evil, Eliot. Because Hardison yelped and tried to dodge, which meant he successfully managed to duck the paper, only to drop the box on his foot.

"Dammit, Eliot!" he said, hopping around and holding his foot. "I better not have broke nothin from this! In the box or in my foot!"

[vdistinctive]

Eliot closed his eyes and sighed. "Yeah, 'cause that piece of paper would have done a lot of damage if it hit ya."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

You knew what you were doing, Eliot, or at least you should have by now.

"Don't throw thing at my head, man! Or, what? You want me to unlearn my 'duck away from projectiles flyin' at my face' reflex? That reflex is important an' has kept me alive, man!"

[vdistinctive]

Eliot just shook his head. "You're hopeless, aren't you."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"That's just hurtful. I ain't never gonna be Uberman, but I ain't hopeless."

[vdistinctive]

"Right, sorry, I musta meant 'helpless'."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"You know, I came in here to talk to you an' keep you company," Hardison sniffed, nose in the air. "But if you're just gonna be mean, I can go to my own office an' get some stuff done."

You know. All the way over in the next room. Which shared a wall with Eliot's.

[vdistinctive]

"Then you shouldn'ta made fun of my dart board," Eliot said, and tossed off a dart that made a bull'seye on the end of Sterling's nose.

Without looking.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"I did not!" Hardison protested. "I just asked if that was what I was supposed to have, too. Since you're all about havin' me run around throwin' rocks at stuff."

[vdistinctive]

Eliot came around his desk and offered Hardison a dart. "Here, give it a try."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Naw way, man," Hardison said, backing up like Eliot was approaching him with a lit firecracker. "We know how this is gonna end. There'll be, like, tears an' yellin' an' property damage an' I don't need all that nonsense before my second class even happens."

[vdistinctive]

"Come on, man, me and Val'll stand right by you. Even you can't hit us, there. And I don't care about any of the rest of the crap in here."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Fine." Never let it be said that Hardison could deny Eliot anything. But also don't let it be said that he gave in with anything approaching grace, either. "But you make even one snide remark an' I'll..." It took him a moment to come up with a decent threat. "...bring Parker to the candy shop in town an' then send her to your house when we're done."