75 Godiva, Sunday evening

[vdistinctive]

There wasn't anything quantifiable that Eliot could nail down, but he could tell when Fandom managed to shake off its latest evil invasion. It was like an enormous, evil weight had been lifted from the world.

It was an enormous relief, but mostly Eliot kind of wanted to take a nap. Again. Apparently freaking out as hard as he had took a lot out of a person, more than sleeping a good 10 hours straight thanks to the medication Hardison had dug up.

"Right," he said. "So . . . what. We should be good through, like, March now, right?"

[ooc: for the family, especially, but can also be open!]

Comments

[godilovedthis]

"You don't have the memory plague, do you?" Kathy asked, looking anxious.

[tigerundercover]

"No no," Raven assured her quickly. "Just . . . regular people memory. Sometimes we can be pretty hard on ourselves."

[godilovedthis]

"Are you hard on yourself?" Kathy asked. "Why?"

[tigerundercover]

Raven took a deep breath. Well. It wasn't like this Kathy would remember long enough to tell anyone else.

"The other me, the one from your world. She's -- really not nice. And I'm pretty sure we share a lot more parts than anyone else knows about."

[godilovedthis]

"But you're nice!" Kathy said. "You're very nice! So you can't share that many."

She thought about it and added, "But sometimes you have to do not-nice things if you want to survive. The world doesn't always reward nice."

[tigerundercover]

"And I lived for a while in another really not-nice world." They needed a better term than 'nice'. "When you do something often enough for survival, it gets kinda . . . easy. So sometimes you want to keep doing it, even when it's not totally necessary."

If Kathy had more of her brain cells left, she might marvel over how weird a conversation this was for a ten year old to be having. At least, to be the one doing the explaining, anyway.

[godilovedthis]

"But you're not hurting people just because you hurt, are you?" Kathy asked. "Or trying to destroy everything just because you want the hurt to stop."

[tigerundercover]

"No," Raven said. "Not, you know, right now. But that doesn't mean I don't know I could."

[godilovedthis]

"Well, yeah, but that's true for everyone," Kathy said, confused. "It's not whether or not you can do something bad, it's whether or not you do. Lots of people can do bad things, might even be tempted to do them, or want to do them. It's that they don't that's important."

[tigerundercover]

"Yeah. . . . God it's so weird talking to you like this." Raven shook her head. "Everything's really clear to you, isn't it. You know, the stuff you remember anyway."

[godilovedthis]

"Sometimes, I watch people and think maybe it's easier like this," Kathy confessed. "I'm not tied up in knots trying to figure out what the best thing to do about stuff is. It's easier."

[tigerundercover]

"Definitely easier than the other Kathy and I have had it," Raven said, then added quietly: "I miss that, sometimes."

[godilovedthis]

"When things were simple?" Kathy asked. "I used to overthink things a lot. I don't now. It's nice, a lot of the times. Except when I think about it. Then it hurts that it doesn't hurt, you know?"

[tigerundercover]

"Kinda," Raven said. "Yeah. The other you never wants to talk like this."

[godilovedthis]

"Why not?" Kathy asked. "Talking about things is important." She frowned. The other her did not seem like a very nice person.

[tigerundercover]

"Sometimes it hurts to remember, too."

[godilovedthis]

"What doesn't she want to remember?" Kathy asked. "I would want to remember everything I can."

How could someone who was nominally the same person as you make so little sense?

[tigerundercover]

"Because you forget," Raven said. "The other Kathy wishes she could forget, because she remembers."

[godilovedthis]

"But you remember and don't want to forget, right?" Kathy asked. "That's important, too. And you have every right." She thought about it. "I think you should talk to her. I'd want to know, even if it hurt me. Maybe she just needs a good reason to think about this stuff. You're a good reason, Sarah."

[tigerundercover]

Raven shook her head. "It wouldn't be good for her to hear about it. It's okay, though. I have other people I can talk to."

She was pretty sure she could tell Jono just about anything by now, and he's just shrug and say he'd been there and knew how she felt. Which sucked for Jono, but was very reassuring for Raven.

[godilovedthis]

"Like what?" Kathy asked. "Could you talk to me about it, maybe? It might be like talking to her."

But, you know, nicer and with more requests to repeat something!

[tigerundercover]

Raven shook her head. "I'd rather talk about nicer things," she said. "But thanks."

[godilovedthis]

"That makes sense," Kathy said. "I mostly like talking about happy things, too. They're nicer to remember. What are things that make you happy?"

[tigerundercover]

"I like . . ." Raven said slowly. "Quiet nights. And kisses. And songs."

[godilovedthis]

"I like those things, too," Kathy said. "I still sing a lot, when I can remember the words."

The first two were a lot rarer.