Office hours, Wednesday

[vdistinctive]

It was a pretty average day of office hours for Eliot, throwing some darts and sorting through some paperwork while Val took a nap on the spare office chair. Until a scrabbling noise in the vents had both Val and Eliot sitting up at attention.

The grate over the vent slammed open and a gremlin in an extremely dusty backwards baseball cap came bursting out of it with a roar. It dodged past Val, ignoring her barking, made straight for Eliot, and managed to sink its teeth into his forearm before he could do more than shout at it. The gremlin then leaped atop Eliot's desk, its green scaly fists raised in a triumphant V, did a victory dance on top of it, and bolted for the vent on the far wall while Val gave chase, scattering papers and office supplies everywhere. The gremlin made it back into the safety of the ventilation shaft, its grembros cheering and slapping it congratulatorily on the back, and Val barked a final warning at it before turning concerned eyes back towards her person.

Eliot stared back at her, eyes equally wide, his hand clamped over his faintly bleeding forearm.

"Wow!" he said finally, and grinned. "That little guy sure was green, huh!"

Val cocked her head, confused, then gave a little puppy shrug and trotted over for some petting. Her person was in a good mood! Who was she to argue?

"How many paperclips do you suppose there are here?" Eliot Big Bird asked. "Let's fine out. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3. . . ."

[so today I get to spend my morning doing a rather specialized job I haven't even had to think about in a little less than a year. TIME FOR A GREMLIN BITE. Open!]

Comments

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"What the hell man?!" Hardison demanded, slamming into Eliot's office. "The fuck is this? Syrup rain? Seriously? Seriously?"

[vdistinctive]

Val immediately ran over to greet Hardison and lick any syrup up off his shoes for him. Big Bird looked up from his paper clip counting. "Oh hi there!" he greeted happily. "Golly, you sure are a grouch, aren't you? Sometimes the weather is bad, but that's okay, it just means we can have fun inside."

[nuclear_snide]

Bob walked through the wall, eyes back over his shoulder toward the outside. "Some days it's rather nice to be incorporeal."

[vdistinctive]

Big Bird clapped. "Gosh, that's a neat trick, Mister!"

[nuclear_snide]

Bob eyed Eliot dubiously. "Are you ill?"

[vdistinctive]

"I don't think so," Big Bird said. "Let me check." And he pressed his hand to his forehead thoughtfully, then looked himself over, completely ignoring the no-longer bleeding but still clearly visible bite mark on his arm. "I don't have a fever. And I'm not feeling sleepy, and my tummy feels okay, and my feathers are nice and bright. I'd say I'm a perfectly healthy bird!"

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

There was singing from Eliot's office Not the usual singing, either.

"Whatcha up to?"

[vdistinctive]

Big Bird looked up from where he was singing about the alphabet. "Well hi there! I was just singing about the alphabet! Would you like to join me?"

When you were a giant six year old canary, life tended to be pretty straightforward.

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"...sure. Have you been drinking?" Not that she'd turn down singing. "A B C D, E F G..."

[vdistinctive]

"No. I am a little thirsty, though." Big Bird looked around the room a little, drumming his fingers on the desk. "Is there any water in here? Or, oh! I could really go for some birdseed!"

[nuclear_snide]

"Your...feathers. Because you're a bird." Bob eyed him skeptically, then caught the bite mark. "Right. Well, that's definitely good to know. So what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be out catching worms to eat or something?"

[vdistinctive]

"Ewwwwwwwwwwww!" Big Bird said, in that delighted, grossed out way that six year olds had. "Of course not! I prefer birdseed. Especially the chocolate covered kind!"

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"...water yes, birdseed...?" She could find some, maybe? Also, Eliot's voice was different. "Hang on!"

She returned through the window with a mug of water, and asked, "What do you need the birdseed for?"

[nuclear_snide]

"Of course. Well, unfortunately I'm fresh out." Bob beamed. "Why don't you go ask Doctor Lecter? He cooks all sorts of things! I'm sure he'll have some."

Bob, you were a terrible troll.

[vdistinctive]

"For a snack, silly!" Big Bird said. "Would you like to share some with me? I usually keep some around in case I get peckish." rimshot He turned around in a circle, doing far less knocking things over with his tail than usual. "So that was pretty funny how you came in through the window just now. That's not usually what windows are for back home. We usually use doors. Doors starts with a D! Do you know any other words that start with a D. . . ?"

[vdistinctive]

"Oh what a neat idea! Thanks, Mister!" Big Bird cheered, then looked around. ". . . Uh, Who's Dr. Lecter? Does he live on Sesame Street, too?"

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"Diamonds. Dynamite!" This was a fun game. Just... a little weird coming from Eliot. Parker frowned and climbed onto the desk. "Desk. I always come in through the window. And why do you want to eat birdseed? Wouldn't you rather have a sandwich? Dijon mustard!"

[nuclear_snide]

"He lives...that way." Bob pointed in the general direction. "You go out the gates, across the street, and take the first right and the first right again. Can't miss it."

[vdistinctive]

"Dog!" Big Bird said, pointing to Val. Who was prancing in a circle just generally enjoying the good mood. "Sandwiches can be tasty, but bread's not actually very good for birds like me. It's best to feed us birdseed, or maybe grapes or veggies!"

[vdistinctive]

"Out the gates," Big Bird repeated, miming along. "Across the -- is there a crosswalk there? I can't cross the street without a grown up and a crosswalk."

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"..dijon grapes? Wait. You're a bird? When did that happen?" Parker pointed at the nearest book shelf. "Dictionary. Megabyte, c'mere, I think Eliot's in a weeeird mood."

[vdistinctive]

"When I hatched! That's how birds are born, you know," Big Bird said. "That's too bad." He sounded genuinely sad for this Eliot person. "You should do something special to cheer him up."

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"What can birds *and* people eat? Aside from grasshoppers." Parker hopped off the desk to sit on the floor, giving Val scritches. "Doppelganger! ... It's a good mood. Just a weird mood."

Hardison being a priest had felt kind of like a rejection; Eliot being a bird was just fun.

"Do you like bananas? I have some in my office."

[vdistinctive]

"I love bananas!" Big Bird said. "They're big and yellow, just like me! Yellow's my very favorite color. What's your favorite color?"

[nuclear_snide]

Bob was stymied for a moment - a crosswalk? Then he grinned. "Oh, there are no cars here! It's just like...one...big park!"