What, was &quot;Rudy&quot; on cable last night?

Navaan had left his bed, yes, but only to go up and sleep in the attic. Dawn had been imminent by the time that sleeping had been a possibility, and Navaan didn't have enough clothing to keep herself covered from the sun.

But surely no one would bother her in the attic! Who decided to enter a house that way, rather than through the door like a normal person?

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Parker, that's who.

Now she was staring at Navaan, trying to figure out why she was in Eliot's attic. Sitting on her feet, really.

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Well, Parker was weird. So there. And Navaan knew weird, okay? Intimately.

Right now, though, she was deeply asleep, oblivious to any staring, or feet-sitting, or whatever else. She did try to shift a little, but the only effect of that was to help her lose the blanket she'd snagged on her way up to the attic.

So, really, Parker, the better question was why was a naked stranger sleeping in Eliot's attic?

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Well, clearly, there was sex involved somewhere. Or crime. Or both!

Parker took hold of the sleeping girl's big toe, and wiggled it. "Why are you here?"

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Navaan blearily opened her eyes and yawned, fangs glinting in the dim light in the attic. "Whozzat?" she mumbled. "Sex, blood, or rock'n roll?"

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"Not my blood," Parker said, flipping off the bed toward the door. "You better not have killed Eliot!"

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Unlike his lovely partner, Hardison was going to use the door. Like a normal person. Attics were dusty and involved climbing (and naked vampires?), whereas walking to the door involved knocking. That was it. Maybe picking a lock, if Eliot decided not to answer.

"Yo, Eliot!" he called, banging on the door. Loudly. With his fist. "Eliot, open up! Eliot, I did not walk up another freaking flight of stairs for you to ignore me! Open your damn door!"

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"Only a little death," Navaan said, and giggled.

...Perhaps that wasn't the best joke to make to Parker. Sophie would get it, though!

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Really not. Sophie would be smirking. Parker, on the other hand, had her taser out. And was already firing, and looking for things to get stabbity with.

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The egg Eliot was holding broke in his hand as he shut his eyes and growled.

Right. So today was the day he murdered Hardison. Good to know.

He stomped to the door, yanked it open, and stomped back to the kitchen without ever entirely opening his eyes to let that damn sunlight in. "For the love of god, Hardison, shut up."

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"We-he-hell, look who's in a grumpy mood," Hardison said, all jovial mood. He'd had a great night--well, okay, a great past few days, and was willing to share the good mood with those he loved best.

Like Eliot!

Which was why he was whistling as he followed Eliot back into the kitchen.

"I don't understand how! The sun is shining, there birds are singing--" okay, it was mostly gulls croaking, but great mood remember, "--and this island is the best place in the world. How could you be so cranky, man? Didn't you go to some kind of swingers party last night? You didn't strike out, man, didja?"

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How was Hardison's voice so piercing? "What? -- No." He squinted suspiciously at Hardison. "You've spent the last two days having sex with Parker, didn't you."

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Navaan was incredibly acrobatic (as Eliot had already discovered) and also very fast (in both meanings of the word, also as Eliot had also already discovered). But this afternoon she was groggy and taken by surprise, which meant she was definitely not agile or nimble enough to avoid a tasering.

"Augh!" she screamed as she got hit. "NOT COOL! NOT COOL! SAFE WORD! SAFE WORD!"

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"NOT SEX! NOT SEX!" Parker yelled back, letting go and then scrambling around to hold a chair over her head. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ELIOT?!"

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There was screaming happening in his attic. This would be strange and irritating any time, but when Eliot was hungover, it was unforgiveable.

"What the hell is going on up here?!"

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Navaan sprang at Eliot like a cat. And, also like a cat, tried to grab hold of his shoulders and cling to him, hissing at Parker.

"Bad touch! Bad touch!" she shrieked. "She's trying to kill me! Or worse, set me on fire!"

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"You're alive!" Parker had already swung moods like a trapeze artist, and was now beaming. "She said there was a little death and I was all about making her pay for it!"

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Eliot was too hung over for this. Admittedly, he probably would be even if he weren't hung over at all.

"Please stop climbing on me," he muttered to Navaan. "Parker, don't taze naked people in my house." A beat. "Unless they ask you to."

That was possibly the remainder of the sex pollen talking there.

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"A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell," Hardison said. What gentlemen did do, however, seemed to involve smirking a lot and wearing their shirts inside out without noticing.

He crossing over to Eliot's fridge to poke around the contents. "Man, you need some Squeezy Orange soda," he said, hoping that Eliot had a sandwich or something tucked away. He'd been very active with few breaks for food, dammit. "What's a brother supposed to drink while he's visiting?"

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"Babe, what did I say about No-Tasing Tuesdays?" Hardison called, following up the stairs behind Eliot. Sure, attics had dust, but when there was screaming and naked girls, sacrificed had to be made. "I know it's...what day is it again?" They hadn't really been focused on the passage of time recently, no. "...Friday, I think, but it's still No-Tasing Tuesday in our hearts."

And hellooo to you, lithe and acrobatic brown chick. "I take it you didn't strike out after all," he said, holding out his hand for Eliot to slap. "But we need to work on your aftercare, Mr. Rochester."

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"If a brother would give a guy a little warning sometime," Eliot said, attempting to go back to making his omelette. "Close the fridge. It's . . . bright."

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"She said she killed him!" Parker protested again, glaring at the girl climbing Eliot like a tree. "That's an exception every day." She stomped her way over to drape herself on Hardison. "I'm watching you," she growled at the Eliot-climber.

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Navaan was glaring right back, still hissing and showing off her fangs. Threat display! Threat display!

She also wasn't budging off of Eliot's shoulders. Height advantage!

"I said little death."

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"Oh for --" Eliot rubbed his forehead, not even remotely off balance with a naked vampire on his shoulders, hangover or no. "Le petit mort, Parker. She was sayin' we had sex." He sighed. "Navaan, Parker and Hardison. Parker, Hardison, Navaan. Now if you all don't mind, I'm pretty sure I drank an entire bottle of absinthe last night, so could we please all shut the fuck up?"

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